From Zero to Awesome in One Can of Tuna

So, leaving Sydney was of course a bummer, and it has set the bar very high for the rest of my trip here. The place that I homelessly migrated to is Pacific Palms, about 3 hours north of Sydney. I've been WWOOFing at a resort (www.sundownerholidays.com check out the pics, yo!) that is on a small strip of land with the ocean to the east and a huge lake to the west. The lake has an outlet to the ocean, so a significant portion is filled with sand, and you can basically walk out a half a mile and never reach water more than knee deep (your move, Jesus). The beach is amazingly scenic. There is a species of phosphorescent algae in the sand that when you walk on the damp sand in the dark they glow, so I'm pretty sure that means it's kind of like doing acid. There is a national park here, too, and the hiking trails lead you to a panoramic view of the ocean and the beach. I get a cabin all to myself, with TV, internet, a queen-sized bed, 2 bunk beds (for forts, obviously), and a kitchen. I work 4 hours a day, and then I get the rest of the day for crazy adventuring. Sounds quite amazing, right? Wrong. It sucked.

            Of course some of my experience here was related to me being a Debbie Downer about my circumstances, but long story short: I was misled about the work I was supposed to be doing (I was told gardening, which is why I came here, but was doing housekeeping. Umm, I’m sorry but I don’t even make my own bed or clean up after myself, these tasks are not in my nature), felt like I was just a form of cheap labor, and there was little to no work to really do, so it was just annoying being up on small, fiddly, unnecessary jobs to take up my time to work up to the 4 hours. In hopes of escaping boredom and filling up the time I watched enough Dr. Phil and The View want to blow my brains out. There was one other WWOOFer with me (Sarah from France), but we were in our own separate cabins, so I more or less felt isolated most of the time. And a lot of the staff didn’t seem too interested in getting to know us like I’d had in my previous experiences.  Also, they require a 2-week minimum stay. Shit. So here I am, bored out of my mind, relatively lonely, having a weird combination of feeling used and unnecessary, and I’m stuck with this for 2 weeks? Pshhh. Not cool, resort accommodation, not cool.

            Okay okay I promise this story swings around and isn’t just me writing in my diary about how much my time here has been whack. So Sarah and I had been desperately planning our escape routes and seeing how in god’s name we’re going to get to another WWOOFing destination, when we stumbled upon the Waves surf camp here. The management (i.e. Brett) operates out of the resort, and they rent spaces in the backpacker accommodation section of the resort where the surf campers stay throughout the week. Sarah and I were told that if we wanted surfing lessons, they were the people to talk to. OH MY GOD YES PLEASE THANK YOU ANYTHING TO BREAK UP THE MONOTONY OF THIS SUCKFEST. So we found Brett, who is, in my professional/expert opinion, friggin’ awesome. He told us 1) that surfing was definitely in the cards for us and 2) to join in a meal with the campers if we were ever around and wanted. So serendipitously 2 nights after that, this hungry hungry hippo had to go to the resort’s kitchen to get a can opener for my tuna (loves me some mercury), and Brett and company happened to be there setting up for dinner. Being the stellar human being that he is, he invited us to join them and it was AWESOME. I got to meet people from Germany, Holland, Vietnam, Spain, and Austria (yes, we had an alarmingly long conversation about Arnold Schwarzeneggar), and they were all AWESOME. Then we hung out all night with them, and our time spent together was AWESOME. What’s even better is that now Sarah and I had AWESOME people to see around the resort and hang out with. I know I know, I see an awesome person in the mirror every morning, but it’s nice to be able to mix it up with others.

            What’s even MORE AWESOME is that Brett needs helping hands, so Sarah and I threw together meals and did some cleaning for Waves in exchange for surf lessons on the weekend, which were…have you guessed yet?... AWESOME. So, what’s the MOST AWESOMELY AWESOME AWESOMENESS to come out of all of this? Well, Brett has in essence ‘hired’ me to keep doing the same stuff every day, and in exchange I’ll get to stay with everyone here and get to learn to surf. Fo’ free. And hang out with amazing people. Indefinitely. Is this real life!?

            So the last 2 days I’ve spent at the beach, getting my ass kicked by the ocean. And it has been just. So. Good. I’ve met tons of cool people and have been having an absolutely amazing time with them. In essence, I’ve gone from serf lessons to surf lessons (ba-ZING!). So were my 4 dreadful days of housekeeping and isolation and boredom worth it? I’ll answer that question with a question: is Gary Busey bat shit crazy? This has truly been one of the most serendipitous, surreal, and SUPER AWESOME things that has ever happened to me. The plan thus far is to stay here until I’m bored with it (HA!), meet amazing people, and continue kicking ass and taking names in my Aussie adventure. How’s your life been lately?

PS…have I mentioned how awesome my life is??

PPS: strictly empirically and scientifically speaking: Australian surfers are…not rough on the eyes. Just throwing that out there.

PPPS: If you’re staying in a hotel, motel (HOLIDAY INN), hostel, whatever…don’t trash the rooms. It’s a bitch for the person who has to make it shiny and pretty for the next inconsiderate douche who stays there. Also, leaving behind unopened alcohol is never unappreciated…

PPPPS: AAAAAAAAAAWESOOOOOOOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!